10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale by nikatil, literature
Literature
10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale
10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale
10. Beg him not to eat you.
9. Inform him that he seems to be the depressed Cullen.
8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.
7. Spell his name with two as (Jaspar) and call him Jaspar Cullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must have gone to his brain.
6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.
5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.
4. Send out waves of lust and see how he r
10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale by nikatil, literature
Literature
10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale
10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale
10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment.
9. Call her Ice Queen behind her back and to her face.
8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with Whatever, bimbo.
7. Claim that being a human aint so great.
6. When she argues the above claim, respond with Whatever, bimbo.
5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways.
4. Tell everyone that Edward didnt go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalies u
10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen by nikatil, literature
Literature
10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen
10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen
10. Sing Discovery Channel by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.
9. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.
8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.
7. Ask how Tanya is.
6. End every argument with Bite me, Edward.
5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.
4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?
3. Tell him his hair isnt bronze, its ginger, and he should stop denying himself hes a rang
Jacob's POV
I had never expected to actually be with her. I had never planned. I didn't know what to do, I needed help.
When I looked at the phone, I realized the number I was dialing, 'oh wonderful. The perfect person to talk to, the Master!' I almost hung up, but then I thought, 'this could be amuzing.'
"Hello?" awsome, the right leech.
"Uh, Edward? It's Jake," I said, pretending to be shy.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT JACOB BLACK?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I hadn't thought this through, so I made it up as I went. "I need help. I don't know how to be with Bella. Will you help me?"
My face paled as I heard one of the others-- Emmett I think
*Read the description first!*
I leaped at Jacob. Just then, Seth got in the way. Instead of Jacob, I hit him. There was a shatter of bones, and I knew for sure they werent mine. I pushed Seth out of the way. Jacob was right in front of me. I stepped toward him. He was going to feel this for a long time. I didnt want to kill him. Part of my instincts told me not to. But hed be almost dead. Id also decided not to use my teeth. If I did, the venom would heal him and make him like me. Oh no, he was going to have scars.
The first thing I did was punch him in the face. Oh sweet victory! Well, one part of it at least. I w
10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black by nikatil, literature
Literature
10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black
10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black
10. Never use English around him instead, bark.
9. Call him a space heater.
8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners.
7. Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet.
6. Inform him that real men sparkle.
5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage.
4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesnt find him hot.
3. Inquire as to how Leah is and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella.
2. Ask him if he likes to do things doggy style.
And the Number One way to annoy Jacob
10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen by nikatil, literature
Literature
10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen
10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen
10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to jump for it.
9. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget.
8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.
7. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.
6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan Im melting.
5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.
4. When she gets a vision, ask if her spidey senses are tingling.
3. Trip her up and a
10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen by nikatil, literature
Literature
10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen
10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen
10. Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.
9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.
8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?
7. Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as Nurse. Naughty in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him Doctor. Dreamy
6. Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or paedophile.
5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blend
Where there's an Emmett..... by SorasKairi, literature
Literature
Where there's an Emmett.....
Emmett walked up to the pair of blue-jeanned legs sticking out from under the BMW M3 in the Cullen garage. He kneeled between them and grabbed the kneecaps, pulling the body they were attached to out from under the car.
Rosalie looked up at him with a smile, her golden hair flaring out beneath her like the halo of the angel he thought she was. "Hey, Em. What's up?" The smile widened when he leaned down and kissed her, pulling her up clear of the car and against his chest. "What was that for?" She asked once he was done, her grin nearly blinding him.
"For being beautiful." He pecked her once more on the lips and leaned up against th
My fingers drilled rapidly on the countertop as I fidgeted in my seat. Where was he? Id been in the city for weeks and hadnt seen a glance of him anywhere!
Had my vision of him, of Jasper, been faulty? Had my visions ever been faulty? Never, from what I could remember offhand. My most recent vision had been of the golden-eyed coven. They had just relocated to a new home; it wouldnt be hard to find them. But what about Jasper? The vision was incomplete without him.
My first vision--my first memory--had been a snapshot of his face. His honey-blonde hair was gleaming, and his blood-red eyes were filled with a sorrow I could n